( no one will ever blame keith for reacting in a way that encompasses his own preference for certain things; they're so much different in that respect, but maybe that's why they've come to understand one another better, how they've learned to work better both with each other, and as a unit with the rest of the team.
and really — it's embarrassing enough all on its own to be caught like this, between the proverbial rock and a hard place, wanting all at once to insist that he's still fine, that he doesn't need to let out all those feelings of loss and wanting to let go of the fraying edges of control he's been clinging to, only letting his guard down enough to let the tears come when he's by himself. alone with his thoughts.
still, maybe it's a good thing that keith turns away from him to face forward again, because despite trying to keep the threatening tears to blur his vision they come right the hell on anyway, and only once he's blinked a handful of times do they even thinklast person he'd expected to hear something like that from.
but that just shows how far he's come as a leader, doesn't it? that it sounds so natural, coming from him. all the things he knows are true and still needs to be reminded of.
the chuckle that comes out of him isn't without a bit of mirth, but it's more in awe than anything else. ) We really have come a long way when you're still the one making motivational speeches, huh? ( his smile is still brittle when he chances a glance over at keith, trying to show he's appreciative of his words, more than anything else, even when his poor attempt at humor is what he's still falling back on. even now. ) No, I — thanks, Keith. For saying all of that. ( really, it really is all the things he needs to hear. probably will for a little while yet. )
There's just so much to think about, sometimes I feel like my head's gonna explode.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2018-12-20 12:37 am (UTC)and really — it's embarrassing enough all on its own to be caught like this, between the proverbial rock and a hard place, wanting all at once to insist that he's still fine, that he doesn't need to let out all those feelings of loss and wanting to let go of the fraying edges of control he's been clinging to, only letting his guard down enough to let the tears come when he's by himself. alone with his thoughts.
still, maybe it's a good thing that keith turns away from him to face forward again, because despite trying to keep the threatening tears to blur his vision they come right the hell on anyway, and only once he's blinked a handful of times do they even thinklast person he'd expected to hear something like that from.
but that just shows how far he's come as a leader, doesn't it? that it sounds so natural, coming from him. all the things he knows are true and still needs to be reminded of.
the chuckle that comes out of him isn't without a bit of mirth, but it's more in awe than anything else. ) We really have come a long way when you're still the one making motivational speeches, huh? ( his smile is still brittle when he chances a glance over at keith, trying to show he's appreciative of his words, more than anything else, even when his poor attempt at humor is what he's still falling back on. even now. ) No, I — thanks, Keith. For saying all of that. ( really, it really is all the things he needs to hear. probably will for a little while yet. )
There's just so much to think about, sometimes I feel like my head's gonna explode.