mistakes that weren't mine;
Dec. 15th, 2018 10:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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sleepchamberknees( to say that he's still reeling from. everything would be putting it mildly, so far on that end of the spectrum that it might as well be off on its own, even if he's been trying to convince himself that nothing else that crosses his path will end up surprising him.
but. maybe he'd never expected to come back from the dead, and maybe he'd never expect to have ended up in another body with a whole slew of memories that still need to sink in, to some extent, like a novel that's been skimmed over and needs some closer attention. read front to back and then over again, just to let everything sink in and make sense, even if there's still some part of him that isn't sure that's going to happen soon.
it makes him tired. he feels like he's been tired for too long but that just comes with the territory, doesn't it? not even coming back from the dead means waking up feeling refreshed, apparently.
with so many passengers and a lack of castle-ship to hold them all, they periodically move themselves around both for the sake of doing so and breaking up the monotony of travel — and, in some cases, to give someone a break from someone else, even if there will never be any outward admittance of that being what it is. shiro is currently the sole passenger on the red lion, and he's still not entirely sure how that happened, but he isn't about to complain. there have been very, very few moments in which he and lance have had any measure of time on their own, and given the stretch of deep, dark space in front of them, there's going to be a decent amount of time to get anything out in the open that needs getting out.
of course, that means someone has to bring something up first. whatever that ends up being.
he tries to stay out of the way as much as he can, never wanting to infringe on anyone's personal space but there's only so much room behind the pilot's chair, and while it would never be surprising to find someone like keith or lance himself riddled with restless energy, this space roadtrip is making even shiro just a little restless himself. maybe it's just the nervous energy threading through him at the thought of finally returning to earth after so long, or maybe it's something else entirely, but whatever it is, it isn't sitting well with him. or comfortably.
he's stretching his legs a little now, slipping in close enough to where the younger sits to peer out into the endless expanse of star-speckled space, dark and ominous, and still strangely beautiful despite all of its hidden, unknown agendas. or maybe because of them. ) How's it going up here?
but. maybe he'd never expected to come back from the dead, and maybe he'd never expect to have ended up in another body with a whole slew of memories that still need to sink in, to some extent, like a novel that's been skimmed over and needs some closer attention. read front to back and then over again, just to let everything sink in and make sense, even if there's still some part of him that isn't sure that's going to happen soon.
it makes him tired. he feels like he's been tired for too long but that just comes with the territory, doesn't it? not even coming back from the dead means waking up feeling refreshed, apparently.
with so many passengers and a lack of castle-ship to hold them all, they periodically move themselves around both for the sake of doing so and breaking up the monotony of travel — and, in some cases, to give someone a break from someone else, even if there will never be any outward admittance of that being what it is. shiro is currently the sole passenger on the red lion, and he's still not entirely sure how that happened, but he isn't about to complain. there have been very, very few moments in which he and lance have had any measure of time on their own, and given the stretch of deep, dark space in front of them, there's going to be a decent amount of time to get anything out in the open that needs getting out.
of course, that means someone has to bring something up first. whatever that ends up being.
he tries to stay out of the way as much as he can, never wanting to infringe on anyone's personal space but there's only so much room behind the pilot's chair, and while it would never be surprising to find someone like keith or lance himself riddled with restless energy, this space roadtrip is making even shiro just a little restless himself. maybe it's just the nervous energy threading through him at the thought of finally returning to earth after so long, or maybe it's something else entirely, but whatever it is, it isn't sitting well with him. or comfortably.
he's stretching his legs a little now, slipping in close enough to where the younger sits to peer out into the endless expanse of star-speckled space, dark and ominous, and still strangely beautiful despite all of its hidden, unknown agendas. or maybe because of them. ) How's it going up here?
no subject
Date: 2018-12-21 02:42 am (UTC)Everything's great. As always. You know. Whole lot of nothing out there to see and all, heh....
[God that was awkward. He grimaces at his own response, and sinks a little lower again.
A lot of things are complicated these days beyond just the loss of the castleship and the difficult journey back home. Shiro isn't an unwelcome passenger, far from it actually, but Lance can't help feeling tense about his presence. He hasn't really begun unpacking much of what happened in the last few months between him and Shiro and (perhaps foolishly) he'd thought he wouldn't have to because it turns out Shiro quite literally hasn't been himself for a while now.
It's strange. There'd been a time once when he'd have been thrilled about having the Takashi Shirogane watch him fl. Nervous certainly because he would have wanted to make a great impression, but now he finds himself bracing for incoming criticism or ... you know, another one of those "I'm leader, your opinion means jack shit" types of comments.
Again, he knows he can't hold that against Shiro because it just wasn't his fault, and really he mostly feels horrible about not having understood what the guy had been trying to tell him while they were briefly in the infinite void of Voltron's consciousness, but visceral reactions are hard to train out. He thought he was over this -- really, he did. It's just harder when it's the two of them and there isn't a group to buffer the tension some.
He takes a deep breath, then looks over his shoulder with a smile. It's not fake in the sense that he wants to be comfortable with Shiro, but it's still a little forced.]
How about you? You doing okay back there?
no subject
Date: 2018-12-24 12:06 am (UTC)maybe the kind of nervous that comes from being in the presence of your hero, but that is so far in their past he likes to think that lance has come to think of him as more of a friend than anything else, someone he can rely on, someone —
that would never make him feel like he wasn't a valuable member of the team, an asset, that his opinions are always welcome and valid alongside everyone else's. shiro has always tried to maintain that level of morale with everyone, tried to ensure that they all remember that they're a unit and there is no existing apart.
but. it's been mentioned before and it will undoubtedly be mentioned again that he wasn't himself, at all and while ultimately he can't be held accountable for anything his clone said while he was spending time being effectively bonded to the black lion with just his consciousness alone, but that excuse isn't good enough, or won't be when it all comes down to it.
and he's going to end up feeling like several layers of shit stacked as tall as he is.
he blinks at the quick response, but doesn't comment on it, because it doesn't seem like his place to do so; instead, he takes a step or two back, wanting lance to be comfortable in his own space — because this is his lion — and that forced smile looks every bit of what it is, and it brings something of a frown to his own mouth, though he tries to disguise it with the subtle turn of his head. ) Great. Getting a little bit of cabin fever, but it's nothing I can't handle.
( gosh … why is smalltalk so hard.
because the tension is so thick in here that one could cut it with a damned plastic butter knife, that's why. )